Mind over Matter

Pain. Depression. Anxiety. Stress. Panic.

What do all these have in common? The ability to keep me from living. What could possibly help me get out of bed? Medicine, maybe. Children, high chance. Mind over matter, highly doubtful.

So, let's say that I choose to have a "mind-over-matter" day. I'm going to get up and do EVERYTHING that NEEDS and SHOULD be done. Let's see what happens.

7 a.m. Get up and get the kids up and going for school.

7:45 a.m. I'm home alone. I'll eat breakfast.

8 a.m. Exercise for 30 minutes.

8:30 a.m. Change a load of laundry.

8:45 a.m. Shower and get ready for the day.

9:30 a.m. Change laundry again.

9:40 a.m. Clean the house. This includes: dishes, dining room, front room and bathroom.

11 a.m. Get shoes and socks on.

11:15 a.m. Leave to pick up 5 year old from school.

11:30 a.m. Wait with 5 year old at elementary school. (I know if I go home I won't want to leave again.

12:30 p.m. Pick up 7 and 9 year old's from elementary school.

12:45 p.m. Drop off children at boys and girls club.

1 p.m. Arrive back home.

1:05 p.m. Change laundry again.

1:10 p.m. Look at clock and wonder about taking a nap. Realize I have a lot of things that still needed to be completed.

1:15 p.m. eat lunch with 5 year old.

1:45 p.m. Work on folding clothes.

2 p.m. Look at time and wonder how in the world I'm going to make it until 9 p.m.

2:30 p.m. Decide what to do for dinner. Pull out meat that will be needed.

3 p.m. Change laundry again.

3:15 p.m. Leave to pick up 12 and 13 year old's from Junior High.

4 p.m. Arrive back home.

4:15 p.m. Have one of the older children change laundry. Keep working on folding clothes, while looking longingly at my bed.

4:55 p.m. Send Hunter to church to meet Ryan for scouts.

5:15 p.m. Start thinking about making dinner. Sit at table and have Joanie help me with dinner.

6:30 p.m. Eat dinner.

7:30 p.m. Youngest two children get in bath and ready for bed.

8:30 p.m. Family prayer.

9 p.m. Watch a TV show with Ryan.

10 p.m. Literally crash into bed, but unable to sleep because of all the thoughts running through my head.

Midnight: Finally fall asleep.

Next three days: Can't get out of bed because my body is in shock and refuses to move. I'm in so much pain that even the thought of getting up to use the bathroom makes me cry.

So, I have one day of mind over matter, but the next few days I'm completely useless and not even able to be with the family.

Now, I'm not going to go into what a normal day looks like, but suffice it to say I usually have two naps and am able to sit at the table with the family for a few hours in the evening. On top of that the following days I'm able to still get up and be with the family.

I do have some mind over matter every day, but realizing that if I want to be a part of my family in the evenings, I MUST take my naps and not overdo it with housework.

I must remember what is the most important aspect of my life is my family. Spending those hours in the evenings with them is truthfully what gets me through my days. So, I will take my naps and be there for my husband and children.

Introduction to Anxiety and Depression

Mental Illness. "cringe". How is it possible that we, as humans, can openly discuss cancer, diabetes, MS, etc., but when we hear mental illness, the room goes silent. Mental illness is as important to know about as the aforementioned illness'.

As we write, we will only write about what WE know. This means we will not write about bipolar, schizophrenia, or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). We have NOT lived or suffered from these terrible mental illness'. We will write about depression and anxiety, for these are the two mental illness' we as a family have been living with -- and surviving -- at the same time.


The hope of this blog is to be the voices rising to get the knowledge that is needed to have a deeper understanding of mental illness. Not just from the sufferers' point of view, but from the caretaker's view, and the view of children who have lived through the hell of not having a parent mentally, and at times, physically present.

There are four of us in our little family. I (Abby) am the sufferer. My husband (Ryan) has been the caretaker of not only me, but our home and family. Last our two children, Joanie (13) and Hunter (11) have missed out on childhood experiences because of my illness. They have needed to grow up faster than their peers.

I'm going to go back to the days of childhood school, where when you first learn a new topic, you are given definitions to give you a base line to begin your knowledge. This first blog may seem tedious and boring to some, I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. For those individuals who feel this way, this is only the first entry. To those who need the understanding of terminology that goes with mental wellness, I hope what I give you is simple enough to understand, but not so simple you're left with questions.

The definitions I use will come use from Merriam-Webster online dictionary. The terminology I feel needed are:
sufferer
caretaker
anxiety
panic disorder
depression
counseling

Sufferer - 1 to experience pain, 2 to experience something unpleasant, 3  to submit to or be forced to endure

Caretaker - one who gives physical or emotional care and support

Anxiety - 1 fear or nervousness about what might happen, 2 an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse)

Panic Disorder - an anxiety disorder characterized by recurrent unexpected panic attacks 

Depression -  1 a state of feeling sad, 2 a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies

Counseling - professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods
 
All of these definitions are correct. However, there is a lot more to anxiety and depression than these definitions. For every person who suffers from these ailments their symptoms may be different. Meaning, what my family and I have suffered and felt with my mental illness', another family can have completely different experiences and feelings.

As we continue this journey as a family, we'd like all to know we want AND expect questions in our comments. We want to help others see that there are options when going through mental illness. 

Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Oct. 2013