Introducing...Joanie

I have sat down at the computer a number of times to introduce Joanie and have stopped because I don't know how to describe Joanie to everyone. It's a challenge to describe a child who is so special in so many ways. My goal today is to actually be able to introduce Joanie in a way that everyone who gets to know her understands how special she is.

Joanie is 13 years old. Not only is she named after an incredible lady, Joanie Rich, she is a lot like Joanie #1 and has many of the same attributes. We couldn't have named her after a better lady.

Joanie is in 7th grade at Excelsior Academy where she excels in all her subjects. She plays the flute in band, and has picked up Spanish at an alarmingly quick rate. After being in Utah History for a couple of weeks, she found out that her teacher, Mr. Maher, is related to her through Ryan's family. This has made history much more interesting for her. Although math and science are her challenging classes she still pulls off an A every term.

Joanie has a testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that is stronger than my testimony. She has a unique bond with her Heavenly Father and older brother Jesus Christ. She knows where and whom to turn to in times of need. She loves attending church and is actively involved in the Young Woman program. She has an inner-light that glows for everyone to see. She loves watching General Conference. When she listens to conference she is enlightened with thoughts of friends and family who need to read/hear such topics. Seeing how she has the Holy Ghost with her at all times brings a fresh start to our family.

Joanie enjoys children and babysits around the neighborhood. She has been referred to as a child-whisperer and baby-whisperer in the past. Children love her and she loves them. She is patient and kind to all children.

Joanie is much like me. She has a few close friends, but lots of friends. She has a personality that draws others to her.

When she entered our life, she came as a gift from God. As I look back over the past years I know she was sent to us at a time when she would be able to help at the best possible time.

I don't know if this does any justice introducing Joanie, but she is an amazing and incredible young woman who I'm thankful to call my daughter.

Back to our scheduled introductions...Ryan (the caregiver)

I'm (Abby) am going to finish the introductions and then get started on everyone writing about their experience. Today, I'm going to introduce my caregiver, Ryan, who is also my husband.

Ryan grew up in a family of 9 boys in Cedar City, Utah. He is the second-to-youngest. By the time Ryan was a teen his mom had become bedridden for a few years. She had injured herself by falling on some stairs. Having his mom in bed gave Ryan a sense of empathy that he needed to learn at a young age so he would be to be able to care for me.

Ryan started working at the age of 15 at the Pizza Factory. He worked there until he left for his mission to New Jersey. Upon returning from his mission he returned to working at the Pizza Factory and started attending school at Southern Utah University (SUU).

Ryan and my cousin Karl, were best friends growing up. They lived on the same street and spent a lot of time together. Ryan and I assume we met when we were younger, but neither of us can recall a time. It was in 1999 that I went to SUU to apply for a scholarship and I was introduced to Ryan. We saw each other a couple times during the summer of 1999. Upon completing high school I decided upon SUU to continue my education. Ryan and I were reintroduced and we began dating.

Ryan works at WalMart as an assistant manager. He works hard and comes home and takes care of me and the house and the children. He doesn't complain and does what needs to be done. He is also a worthy priesthood holder, and willingly gives me blessings when asked.

And that, is Ryan, the caregiver.

My Life is a Gift

I had no plans to write another post this week, but I have been in bed for three hours with the song "I Will Follow God's Plan" going through my mind over and over again. I first learned this song when I was in Primary (a child's program for children 3-11 years of age for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). I haven't thought of the song in quite some years, but over the past few months, it has been a constant in my mind. The lyrics and music were written in 1981 by Vanja Y. Watkins, they are:

My life is a gift; my life has a plan.

My life has a purpose; in heav'n it began.

My choice was to come to this lovely home on earth

And seek for God's light to direct me from birth.

I will follow God's plan for me,

Holding fast to his word and his love.

I will work, and I will pray;

I will always walk in his way.

Then I will be happy on earth

And in my home above.

I know of many who have questions regarding life. Generally, the three top questions are:

1: Who am I?

2: Why am I here?

3: Where am I going?

As I have suffered with my depression and anxiety I have asked these questions time and time again. This song answers these three questions in such simplicity that even children as young as three can answer these questions.

1: Who am I? I am a daughter of a loving Father in Heaven. I am the sister of a man, so perfect, that he was unable to live longer than 33 years before being crucified for me. 

In October 2013, just after being released from Salt Lake Behavioral Health, was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints bi-yearly General Conference. On Saturday, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a talk entitled, "Like a Broken Vessel". This talk touched me in ways that I thought unimaginable. He said, 

"Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend."

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng

This answers the question of Who am I?

2: Why am I here? As we sing in "I Will Follow God's Plan", I am here because my life is a gift and it has a plan and purpose. I chose to come to earth and agreed to these struggles (knowing this does not make the suffering any easier). I chose to come seek and ask for God's light to direct me in his plan for my life. Giving up control is one of the hardest things anyone can do. I still struggle with control on a daily basis. 

There are times I think, Why me? What am I doing wrong? What am I supposed to be learning? For we all have struggles to learn what we don't have. These questions do NOT come from my Heavenly Father, but they come from a being so insensitive and cruel that he was cast out of Heaven in the preexistence. That's right, I speak of Lucifer, or better known as Satan. He does NOT want me to be happy. He wants my struggles to blind me to the love of my Father in Heaven and family. He wants me to drag myself to a place where I cannot return from. That is what Satan wants from me. I refuse to give in, and will push myself to the extreme to prove to myself and Christ that he did not die in vain because of me.

3: Where am I going? I will be happy in my home above. I am going to heaven. I will be reunited with my grandparents, friends, and family who have left this earth already. I will see and understand why I am going through this pain. I will be welcomed with open arms by my loving Heavenly Father, and my brother Jesus Christ.

So, as I think of this song, and the season that we are just ending. I think of love and hope for the new year. I think of survival and understanding, not just for me, but for my family. And I think, I did it. I made it through 2015 without succumbing to Satan's grasp. I am a survivor and I will continue to survive, and hopefully one day, live my life to it's fullest. Therefore, following God's plan for me!

If interested you can listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing "My Life is a Gift," by clicking on the link below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VdEZ5EwS1s