Monday, March 7, 2016

What it's like in the eyes of a daughter

I'm Joanie. I'm the oldest child of the sufferer, Abby. As a child of someone that suffers from anxiety and depression, I know what it's like to see someone you love stay at home all day because they are nervous and anxious about being around people. Having anxiety and depression together is hard for the person who suffers from it, but does anyone think about how hard it is for the sufferers loved ones, who have to watch and, at times, not be able to help?

I have watched as my mom has anxiety attacks and sometimes I can't do anything to help. When it's bad enough she sits in bed and rubs her hands together. When this happens I never know what to do, it scares me. My mom has good days and that lasts for a couple of days, but then everything she had done catches up to her and she spends a couple more day in her room. Whenever Hunter or I have important events coming up, my mom has to take medication in order to be able to come and see our parts and than she has to go in a hall or separate room for the rest of the performances.

Any performer or person who knows concert etiquette knows that it is considered highly rude to walk out of a concert or performance. Because of my mom's diseases, she isn't able to stay in the crowded gym after Hunter or I's band or dance concerts. Whenever we have band concerts (since we don't do dance anymore) our mom stays in long enough to at least see our performances, sometimes she is able to stay longer. It makes me sad that my mom can't handle staying to watch all performances because she loves hearing band, orchestra and other performances.

The best times are when we stay at home as a family and do activities, or when we go driving in the mountains. We have so much fun that when a bad day comes up it scares me. When we drive in the mountains you can see the peace on mom's face as we look at the scenery.

The times when I see my mom's face content and peaceful are the times I most enjoy.

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