Why I Take Medicine for my Depression and Anxiety

My health history would not only surprise some, but it would bore some to death. Just to give you a sneak peek into my health, here's some information. Not only do I suffer from depression and anxiety but I also have diabetes, Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, migraines, and a host of other issues. 

There are some who question whether or not medicine is beneficial or needed to treat mental diseases. Yes, even I have friends and family members who are naysayers. I have been told "life will get better", "You need to think positive", and one of my favorite, "It's all in your head". Of course it's all in my head. I have a mental disease and without a brain my issues wouldn't exist.

A number of years ago when I was being treated for high blood pressure I was being seen by a wonderful doctor. I was in my late 20s and struggling with having to take medicine daily. My doctor asked me the only question he knew would make me take my medicine regularly. "Do you want to see your children graduate high school and get married?" I immediately started crying. How could he be so mean? How could he even question my love for my children? After I calmed down I told him that yes I wanted to be around for those events. His response, "Well, you need to take your damn medicine"!

This exclamation was an eyeopener for me. Was taking medication for my high blood pressure really going to help me live longer? I decided taking it was a necessity.

Fast forward five years and I still have high blood pressure, but I've now been diagnosed with diabetes and my depression. I have a new doctor and I'm extremely hesitant to take meds for my depression. 

It is socially unacceptable and an embarrassment to take medicine for depression. I should be able to deal with my depression on my own. My life is ideal, why do I suffer from depression? All these thoughts went through my mind, and were verbally said to me. I was heartbroken. How could I admit to having a mental disease if no one believed me or supported me? 

Once again at my doctor visit he begins asking me questions. 

Doc:  "Do you take medicine for your high blood pressure?"

Me: "Yes."

Doc: "Do you take medicine for your diabetes?"

Me: "Of course."

Doc: "Why is it OK for you to take medicine for these diseases, but not for your depression?"

Me: "I could die if I don't take my other medicine."

Doc: "The same thing could happen if we don't control your depression."

It was hard to hear this, but it was what I needed to hear. At that time I was able to stay on the medicine for a year and then go off it for a number of years. 

Sadly, three years later I was hospitalized and have not been able to get off medicine for my depression and anxiety.

I no longer feel that it is wrong to take medicine for a mental disease. I can admit that I will be on medication for the rest of my life, and I'm OK with that. My life is still great. I have a loving husband who spoils me, two wonderful children who make being a mom easy, and family and friends who, I hope, are beginning to understand a little more about mental illness.

So, the answer to why do I take medicine for my mental diseases is this: I want to be a mom. I want to live and see my children graduate from school. I want to see them get married. Above all, I want to be a mom to my children in the here and now. I want to be a mom they can say was there for them, and who loves them with all my heart. I don't have to be 100% all the time, but me at 30% is still better than me at 0%. And the only way for me to be this mom is to take my medicine.